The format is usually a little something like this:
Intro
Why are we here, what are we here to do.
Outline of meeting
What are we going to do in this circle.
Agreements
These are our collectively agreed boundaries to create 'safe' container for the circle. Important things like sobriety, confidentiality, non-judgement.
Check-in
Here each man shares their name, location, a score out of 10, and three words to describe how they're feeling.
Centering Exercise
Next the facilitator leads an exercise to help everyone get out of their heads for a moment, practice some emotional regulation, get present and into the body. It varies a bit, sometimes it's a short meditation, sometimes something embodied, or a breath based exercise.
Short warm up question
This is the starter: We have over 100 questions, its down to your facilitator to choose an appropriate question for the group to answer in a minute or so.
Long Individual shares
This is the main course: Each man is invited to talk for usually around 6-10 minutes (depends on how many men are present). This is your oppertunity to think aloud and be heard by a group of supportive and like-minded men who are also working on themselves. You can talk about whatever you want, it can be a useful space to bring subjects that you might not want to talk about with others in your life. You can rant, cry, rage. You can't get it wrong. You don't need to try to be clever, funny or brave, just honest.
Check-out, takeaways, state shift.
Then finally, we each share our score again, a short learning, word or action we're taking with us, and we invite a bit of movement, to shift our state before getting on with our lives.
Sharing: Men share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a non-judgmental space.
Listening: Active listening is crucial. Men learn to truly hear and understand each other.
Support: Members offer support, encouragement, and empathy to one another.
Feedback: Men can request feedback, in various forms, from the other men.
Personal growth: Men have the opportunity to explore their identities, values, and relationships.
Deeper connections: Men can forge strong, meaningful bonds with other men.
Emotional expression: A safe space to express emotions openly and honestly.
Personal growth: Opportunities for self-discovery and development.
Increased self-awareness: Better understanding of one's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Improved relationships: Stronger connections with partners, family, and friends.
While the focus does vary, common themes include
We took all the hundreds of answers men told us, gave it to AI, and this is the summary:
The most common reasons people join men's circles are:
Other reasons people join men's circles include:
Awareness
The first stage is about to “creating the container” - getting used to the structure and format, and getting to know the other men in the circle. We have the opportunity to share our life stories, which can give us a clearer picture about how we came to be the way we are. We learn listening skills, how to be present, and how to provide insightful feedback to other men.
Acceptance
In this stage we go into greater depth; exploring our patterns of behaviour - why we do the things we do, our emotions, triggers and ways of thinking. In this stage we are invited to accept the parts of ourselves that we may not like; leading to greater insight into our motivations, wants and needs; and when we do this, we give ourselves agency to change them. This is the stage of developing our emotional intelligence and language, as well as an embodied awareness.
Action
In the final stage you are invited to begin taking responsibility for yourself. This looks like choosing actions for your own development, taking on challenges from other men, and getting weekly peer-accountability and encouragement.